Dear readers,
remember the velveteen rabbit? I was so struck with his desire to be genuine that I turned it into a a one person storytelling experience and performed it with out makeup- for an audience -
It has been a few months since I finished my fast- but God is still teaching me- I keep my who I am in Christ list taped to my mirror - it is a daily reminder of whose approval I need to be seeking- I don't have it figured out yet- but it is no longer a closed door.
and God has been using my journey- to work with girls- which totally floors me- looking back over the mess that I am and seeing God use it never ceases to amaze me!
Keep up the good fight oh daughters of the King- you are soooo beautiful outside- and inside !
- Love your sister
Monday, August 24, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Sacrafice, Easter, Family Photos
Romans 8:31-38 I am free from any condemnation brought against me and I cannot be separated from the love of God.
I took the past few days to reflect on this statement - as Easter draws closer I continue to think of God's sacrifice for me- and really how much it means- I watched the passion of the Christ and was once again struck with how much Christ had to go through- but something else stuck out to me- through all the pain, the blood, and loss of flesh- He was so beautiful- it didn't have anything to do with what he looked like but rather what he was doing- who he was- the verse that came to mind was that there was nothing to draw men towards him- he wasn't overly handsome- and yet people were so drawn to him- yes he was the Son of God- but it also had to do with the way he lived His life.
I had thoughts running through my head this week- my family is visiting and I am worried about family photos- photos last forever- well almost- photos of me wearing no makeup- I'm okay with the here and now- but years down the road...
I was laid flat with the thought of I choose to give up makeup- I gripe and complain- but God gave up his life, His son, His connection with His son, His throne- for me- and all because he loves me - and I can never be separated from that Love! Yaaaa
I took the past few days to reflect on this statement - as Easter draws closer I continue to think of God's sacrifice for me- and really how much it means- I watched the passion of the Christ and was once again struck with how much Christ had to go through- but something else stuck out to me- through all the pain, the blood, and loss of flesh- He was so beautiful- it didn't have anything to do with what he looked like but rather what he was doing- who he was- the verse that came to mind was that there was nothing to draw men towards him- he wasn't overly handsome- and yet people were so drawn to him- yes he was the Son of God- but it also had to do with the way he lived His life.
I had thoughts running through my head this week- my family is visiting and I am worried about family photos- photos last forever- well almost- photos of me wearing no makeup- I'm okay with the here and now- but years down the road...
I was laid flat with the thought of I choose to give up makeup- I gripe and complain- but God gave up his life, His son, His connection with His son, His throne- for me- and all because he loves me - and I can never be separated from that Love! Yaaaa
Monday, April 6, 2009
Construction Zone
April 1st- Colossians 2:9-10 I am complete in Christ.
April 2nd Hebrew 4:14-16 I have direct access to the throne of grace through Jesus Christ.
April 3rd Romans 8:28 I am assured that God works for my good in all circumstances.
April 4th Romans 8:31-39 I am free from any condemnation brought against me and I cannot be separated from the love of God.
April 5th 2Tim 1:7 I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind.
these past weeks there have been many things going through me that - well I am not sure if they relate to this makeup fast directly or not-
I have been in some what of a spiritual slump- a dessert of sorts and I couldn't figure out why- well still can't- but i found myself angry like i expected God to talk to me every day or give me joy- I mean come on I'm giving up makeup- It has been extremely frustrating- but I have realized that this fast has caused me to seek more- to look for his assurance -which makes his silence all the more frustrating...
I was in a frustrated mood- and when I am stressed or have extra emotions I take a walk or a run- as i was walking the day was unusually warm and the sun was just setting - I was on a street which normally has many cars but for a split second it was silent- peaceful "this is what I want to give you"
"what?"
but there was nothing else- my mind started wheeling- this whole time I have not just been- I go about talking and talking expecting God to interrupt- when sometimes we need to just be still and listen- relaxing and experiencing peace-
I have started to listen- and with peace has come unsettledness in other areas of my life that I see God working on- that is hard- to have some many areas pointed out as needing repair... but I guess once again its like having a house that looks nice on the outside- in fact it has a new coat of paint- but on the inside there are termites eating at things and mold under the carpets- you can only ignore problems for so long- this house is going under reconstruction- caution I'm liable to crash at any moment.
so- yes its hard- but I challenge you to be silent and just listen....
April 2nd Hebrew 4:14-16 I have direct access to the throne of grace through Jesus Christ.
April 3rd Romans 8:28 I am assured that God works for my good in all circumstances.
April 4th Romans 8:31-39 I am free from any condemnation brought against me and I cannot be separated from the love of God.
April 5th 2Tim 1:7 I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind.
these past weeks there have been many things going through me that - well I am not sure if they relate to this makeup fast directly or not-
I have been in some what of a spiritual slump- a dessert of sorts and I couldn't figure out why- well still can't- but i found myself angry like i expected God to talk to me every day or give me joy- I mean come on I'm giving up makeup- It has been extremely frustrating- but I have realized that this fast has caused me to seek more- to look for his assurance -which makes his silence all the more frustrating...
I was in a frustrated mood- and when I am stressed or have extra emotions I take a walk or a run- as i was walking the day was unusually warm and the sun was just setting - I was on a street which normally has many cars but for a split second it was silent- peaceful "this is what I want to give you"
"what?"
but there was nothing else- my mind started wheeling- this whole time I have not just been- I go about talking and talking expecting God to interrupt- when sometimes we need to just be still and listen- relaxing and experiencing peace-
I have started to listen- and with peace has come unsettledness in other areas of my life that I see God working on- that is hard- to have some many areas pointed out as needing repair... but I guess once again its like having a house that looks nice on the outside- in fact it has a new coat of paint- but on the inside there are termites eating at things and mold under the carpets- you can only ignore problems for so long- this house is going under reconstruction- caution I'm liable to crash at any moment.
so- yes its hard- but I challenge you to be silent and just listen....
Thursday, April 2, 2009
the velveteen rabbit- or how toys become real
Dear readers,
I apologize profusely for not keeping up- I could give you a myriad of excuses- but I won't-
I will also not fill you in on everything just my main points of the last week and a half??
as I have forgotten my daily findings- but I do remember the important points!
- the 17th Philippians 1:6 I am confident that God will complete the good work He started in me.
- the 18th Philippians 3:20 I am a citizen of heaven.
this one is such a sense of belonging for me - I do have a permanent place ...
- the 19th 2 Timothy 1:7 I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind.
- I love this verse so much that I had to put it in here-
For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline.
I love that we are called through Christ's power to be powerful to have love, and to be disciplined
- the 20th 1 John 5:18 I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me.
Satan is such a bugger- this verse always sends me back to being a child of god - to being protected- I am so thankful I serve a God of power- repeat you are a child of God and the evil one can not touch you- don't let him tease you either- I fall into that so much especially with thoughts about my self worth- which are not of God!
I am significant...
-the 21st John 15:5 I am a branch of Jesus Christ, the true vine, and a channel of His life.
-the 22nd John 15:16 I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit.
- the 23rd 1 Corinthians 3:16 I am God's temple.
- that is something beautiful!
- the 24th 2 Corinthians 5:17-21 I am a minister of reconciliation for God.
reconciliation, with God, others, his earth and myself...
- the 25th Ephesians 2:6 I am seated with Jesus Christ in the heavenly realm.
- the 26th Ephesians 2:10 I am God's workmanship.
YAaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!
- the 27th Ephesians 3:12 I may approach God with freedom and confidence.
- the 28th Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.
- this last week and a half I am picking out the verses and sayings that stuck out to me, the hard ones and the most encouraging ones...
- the 29th - John 1:12-I am God's child. ( love this one! first repeat- so encouraging)
- the 30th- 1st Corinthians 6:19-20-I have been bought with a price and I belong to God.- this is one I really struggle with- am I actually worth the price he paid- and understanding that there is nothing I can do to make myself more worth it.
- the 31st- Colossians 1:13-14 I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins.- this includes my sins of self loathing...
As the last week of my fast from makeup draws near- Next Sunday I'm done- I feel like I have learned so much and so little all at the same time- questions have been answered but have also created so many more questions-
it has been a strange, hard, stretching, challenging, tear jerking, laughter filled 30 days...
I recently heard someone speak about the lent season and how 40 days can change a lot of things if you let God use you- in the bible we have so many examples of 40 days that change people- A 40-something time period, whether days, months, or years is ALWAYS a period of testing, trial, probation, or chastisement (but not judgment) and ends with a period of restoration, revival or renewal.
Noah and the ark, the Israelites spies in Canaan, the Israelites wandering, moses on the mountain, Jesus being tested ...
I am really looking forward to the end- but at the same time I will miss this time of learning- and yes learning can occur with make up on- but I think one seems so much more real when they are ugly- ugly to themselves and to today's culture- when the only mirror that makes you look good is your savior-
which brings me to the velveteen rabbit- I am currently studying theatre and for my final project this year- I have to create a solo show- the velveteen rabbit keeps striking a chord because it talks about these issues in a way a child can understand them- I recommend reading it highly and finding those little nuggets of truth buried deep under the poetic story of one rabbits journey to being real- it always makes me think of my spiritual journey towards trying to be authentic -
this excerpt between the main character and a very wise friend is sorta where I am feeling
As a long distance track runner the last lap around the track was always the hardest- which is slightly disarming seeing the first 3/4 wasn't a walk in the park... but I will press on and try to finish strong-
until tomorrow- hopefully
keep being beautiful- keep looking in the right mirror ( wow cheesy)
I apologize profusely for not keeping up- I could give you a myriad of excuses- but I won't-
I will also not fill you in on everything just my main points of the last week and a half??
as I have forgotten my daily findings- but I do remember the important points!
- the 17th Philippians 1:6 I am confident that God will complete the good work He started in me.
- the 18th Philippians 3:20 I am a citizen of heaven.
this one is such a sense of belonging for me - I do have a permanent place ...
- the 19th 2 Timothy 1:7 I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind.
- I love this verse so much that I had to put it in here-
For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline.
I love that we are called through Christ's power to be powerful to have love, and to be disciplined
- the 20th 1 John 5:18 I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me.
Satan is such a bugger- this verse always sends me back to being a child of god - to being protected- I am so thankful I serve a God of power- repeat you are a child of God and the evil one can not touch you- don't let him tease you either- I fall into that so much especially with thoughts about my self worth- which are not of God!
I am significant...
-the 21st John 15:5 I am a branch of Jesus Christ, the true vine, and a channel of His life.
-the 22nd John 15:16 I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit.
- the 23rd 1 Corinthians 3:16 I am God's temple.
- that is something beautiful!
- the 24th 2 Corinthians 5:17-21 I am a minister of reconciliation for God.
reconciliation, with God, others, his earth and myself...
- the 25th Ephesians 2:6 I am seated with Jesus Christ in the heavenly realm.
- the 26th Ephesians 2:10 I am God's workmanship.
YAaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!
- the 27th Ephesians 3:12 I may approach God with freedom and confidence.
- the 28th Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.
- this last week and a half I am picking out the verses and sayings that stuck out to me, the hard ones and the most encouraging ones...
- the 29th - John 1:12-I am God's child. ( love this one! first repeat- so encouraging)
- the 30th- 1st Corinthians 6:19-20-I have been bought with a price and I belong to God.- this is one I really struggle with- am I actually worth the price he paid- and understanding that there is nothing I can do to make myself more worth it.
- the 31st- Colossians 1:13-14 I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins.- this includes my sins of self loathing...
As the last week of my fast from makeup draws near- Next Sunday I'm done- I feel like I have learned so much and so little all at the same time- questions have been answered but have also created so many more questions-
it has been a strange, hard, stretching, challenging, tear jerking, laughter filled 30 days...
I recently heard someone speak about the lent season and how 40 days can change a lot of things if you let God use you- in the bible we have so many examples of 40 days that change people- A 40-something time period, whether days, months, or years is ALWAYS a period of testing, trial, probation, or chastisement (but not judgment) and ends with a period of restoration, revival or renewal.
Noah and the ark, the Israelites spies in Canaan, the Israelites wandering, moses on the mountain, Jesus being tested ...
I am really looking forward to the end- but at the same time I will miss this time of learning- and yes learning can occur with make up on- but I think one seems so much more real when they are ugly- ugly to themselves and to today's culture- when the only mirror that makes you look good is your savior-
which brings me to the velveteen rabbit- I am currently studying theatre and for my final project this year- I have to create a solo show- the velveteen rabbit keeps striking a chord because it talks about these issues in a way a child can understand them- I recommend reading it highly and finding those little nuggets of truth buried deep under the poetic story of one rabbits journey to being real- it always makes me think of my spiritual journey towards trying to be authentic -
this excerpt between the main character and a very wise friend is sorta where I am feeling
"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up, or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand." The Skin Horse smiled, "once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."
The Rabbit sighed. He thought it would be a long time before this magic called Real happened to him. He longed to become Real, to know what it felt like; and yet the idea of growing shabby and losing his eyes and whiskers was rather sad. He wished that he could become it without these uncomfortable things happening to him.
Another big issue that I have realized- I have a problem with judging- not just me but others- I immediately think that other people think I don't look good, or I'm stupid- when in actual fact people aren't even thinking about me- so self centered- which just brings me right back to I need to stop thinking about me me me me ...As a long distance track runner the last lap around the track was always the hardest- which is slightly disarming seeing the first 3/4 wasn't a walk in the park... but I will press on and try to finish strong-
until tomorrow- hopefully
keep being beautiful- keep looking in the right mirror ( wow cheesy)
Friday, March 27, 2009
sorry
sorry I have had such an amazingly busy week- I will fill you all in this weekend about love, makeup, and the velveteen rabbit....
Monday, March 16, 2009
Where is the Justice?
"Where is the justice?" I cried!
It was Sunday- I was able to wear makeup again- and of course something would happen that would cause me to cry it all off- the irony.
This Sunday I opted for just foundation and mascara- who knew that that was all you needed?
I find I no longer crave any other makeup than just those two basics- oh cravings...
I am hidden with Christ in God. Colossians 3:1-4
1Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. 3For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.4When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory.
I absolutely love this verse! - it takes my mind off myself and puts it on God - it is probably a life verse of mine. it is such a great promise ! It makes troubles here on earth seem so small to me ... and makes my end reward seem that much greater- yaaaaa
It was Sunday- I was able to wear makeup again- and of course something would happen that would cause me to cry it all off- the irony.
This Sunday I opted for just foundation and mascara- who knew that that was all you needed?
I find I no longer crave any other makeup than just those two basics- oh cravings...
I am hidden with Christ in God. Colossians 3:1-4
1Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. 3For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.4When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory.
I absolutely love this verse! - it takes my mind off myself and puts it on God - it is probably a life verse of mine. it is such a great promise ! It makes troubles here on earth seem so small to me ... and makes my end reward seem that much greater- yaaaaa
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